Becoming Who You Really Are Will Cost You Your Approval Addiction

Let’s get something straight:

You don’t get to be the real you and be universally liked.
And you definitely don’t get to be wildly fulfilled, spiritually aligned, and still have everyone clapping for your choices.

Not at the same time.

I used to think I could somehow finesse it all, you know, live out my soul’s purpose, make spiritually informed decisions, and keep everyone feeling comfortable and proud of me.

Spoiler: I couldn’t.

And neither can you.

I Played the Role Well—Until I Didn’t

For years, I curated myself into someone I thought was digestible. I watered myself down in professional spaces. I spiritualized my pain just enough to make others feel like I wasn’t “too much.” I smiled through heartbreak and stayed quiet in rooms where I should have roared.

I remember a time I wanted to make a huge life change, sell everything and move. I had a deep knowing it was time. But instead of trusting that voice, I called people. Not to celebrate it, but to ask if it was “a good idea.” I wanted permission. I wanted applause. I wanted validation wrapped in approval.

What I got was fear-based advice and a side of subtle judgment.
And I stayed small.
Again.

It took me years, and a few heartbreaks, relocations, and spiritual initiations to finally understand that approval is a poor substitute for alignment.

Your Approval Addiction Is Spiritually Expensive

Approval feels good for a moment, but it’s not nourishing. It’s a sugar high.
You post something safe and get 57 likes.
You say what your mentor would say.
You launch the “right kind” of offer for your niche.

But inside? You’re starving.
Your body aches. Your spirit is loud. You’re disconnected from your own yes.

I’ve seen this with clients who are stuck in the liminal space of knowing they’re meant for more—but they’re clinging to being liked. Women afraid to talk about past lives, afraid to share their intuitive gifts, afraid to leave their careers or marriages because “what will people think?”

Here’s a spiritual truth for you: the more embodied you become, the more likely you are to make someone uncomfortable.
That’s not failure. That’s proof you’re shifting the vibration.

Spiritual Alignment Isn’t Always Soft

Sometimes, your alignment roars. Sometimes, it tells people no. Sometimes, it disrupts dinner tables, breaks up toxic connections, or deletes social media for months because your nervous system said “no more performance.”

That’s alignment too.
And it rarely gets claps in real time.

The women I coach don’t want to perform anymore. They’re done with the “good girl” costumes and the spiritual makeup that makes pain pretty.

They want truth.
They want freedom.
They want to walk away from approval and into purpose, even if they walk alone for a little while.

And when they do? They feel it.
The body softens.
The voice strengthens.
The clarity returns.

You don’t need everyone to get it. You just need to get you.

Journal This:

• Where am I still performing for approval?

• What truths am I avoiding expressing because I want to be liked?

• What would I say or do this week if I didn’t care who clapped?

Truth:

If everyone likes the version of you they see, you’ve probably edited yourself too much.

With love and deep gratitude,
Raye